I remember the day perfectly. It was a beautiful sunny day in March, 2000. Today, we were having scoliosis screening in PE. I had no idea what scoliosis was, but I knew that it had something to do with the back. My turn came, and the nurse told me I would have to take off my shirt and bend over, so she could look at my spine. She looked at my back from different angles, and had me bend to different degrees. Finally, she told me that I should go see a doctor, because she thought I had scoliosis.

When I got home from school, I told my mom, and I started crying. I didn’t know who this lady was, to tell me that I had some foreign word coined to my back. My mom immediately called the school district and told them that she was very upset to know a mere school nurse told me of some forboding reality. My mom believed I should have heard the news from herself, my dad, or even a doctor, not some stranger.

The next week, I went to a chiropractor that we had been recommended to by a friend. Dr. Engler looked at my spine, then took some x-rays. When the x-rays were developed, he examined them and made calculations. He confirmed that I indeed had scoliosis, and found my main curve to be 23 degrees. He showed me my x-rays, and I began to cry. I looked at what was supposed to be a beautiful straight line of human bones, the body’s version of pearls, but instead I saw a softly curved “S” in my spine. He began me on adjustments 2 days a week to relieve some of the pressure in my back.

Meanwhile, my dad began some research on scoliosis, and started at the most informative, yet worst place, the internet. He was horrified at some of the pictures he saw and some of the stories he read. He eventually came across the Shriner’s Hospitals for Children of Northern California, Sacramento. He learned that this hospital, only 2 hours from home, had some of the best scoli surgeons in the world. He talked to a friend, and after about two months, I was accepted as a patient, and was scheduled for my fist appointment in September.

I will never forget the first day I went to Shriner’s. Two of the most momentous events in my life happened that day. One was that I met Dr. Gupta, who would later become my surgeon. He told me that as of now, I had nothing to worry about. If my spine held stable, surgery was nowhere in my future. On the way home, we were as high as a kite. The second, was that when we arrived home, there was a message from one of my mom’s doctors. My mom had breast cancer.

Now, as all of this happened way back in 2000, we’re going to fast forward to 2002, October to be exact. During those two years, I continued going to Shriner’s every six months for observation, and my back seemed to be stable. I also continued going to the chiropractor, and was eventually only going once a month. My mom went through surgery, 2 3-month sessions of chemo, and 6 weeks of radiation. She has been cancer free ever since.

In October 2002, we drove to Shriner’s for the normal six-month observation. Except this time, I told Dr. Gupta that the last three months had been kind of hard on me. I was having a lot of back pain, sometimes so bad that I didn’t want to do anything. I had also had some trouble breathing, and I wanted to know what was wrong. Dr. Gupta looked again at my x-rays, and had my lay on the exam table on my stomach to re-examine my back by applying pressure to certain points on my curves.

When he got my x-rays back, he found that my main curve had progressed to 52 degrees, and the vertebrae in the middle of the curve was being compressed. Half of it had been ground away, and the disc was close to rupturing. My doctor said that if the disc ruptured, I would most likely be paralyzed for life. He then said to think over my options, whether I wanted to have surgery or not, do some research, and come back in a month with my decision. I asked him if I were his daughter, what would he do. He said that he would want me to have surgery, but I was old enough to make my own decisions, and him and my parents would support me through whatever I decided. It was my body, and nobody could make this decision for me.

December 1, 2002
We had a good Thanksgiving over in Ukiah. We were there for three days. I wish we lived closer, but they’ll be coming up in two weeks for the Cantata. So Thursday, Friday, and half of Saturday were good days. But then we were coming home Saturday afternoon, my back started hurting a lot. I’ve never experienced so much pain before. It’s hard to describe, except intense and excruciating. Things went mainly the same way today, but maybe not quite as intense. But besides the pain, my back was also stiff and tired. The entire church is praying for me.

One month and 2 weeks later, we came back in the middle of December, and after much deliberation and research, I decided I needed to go ahead with surgery. I could no longer live with the pain in my back, and I would rather go through surgery now than wait and become paralyzed because I made a wrong move and my disc ruptured. I told my doctor my decision, and he warned me of the risks, but said if that was what I truly wanted to do, he’d start the ball rolling. My nurse Jeannine came in, and her and my parents began the paperwork as I read over info packets that told about the surgery and the hospital.

My first pre-op appointment was in March, 2003. My surgery date had been set for June 9th, 2003, and it was all I could do to wait for my surgery date. I met with many doctors, including my general surgeon, Dr. Batistella. I had my blood drawn for the first time, and remember watching that little vial as it filled up with my young, healthy, deep red blood. I had my PFTs (pulmonary function tests), and felt grateful that I was not claustrophobic, as I was placed in a box-thing with tubes and wires and a bench. I watched in amusement as the computer screen filled with lines, measuring my breathing habits. The tech was very impressed, as he had not seen numbers as high as mine in a lone time. He passed me on my PFTs, and sent me back downstairs to my nurse. I then met with the Child Life Specialist and a Psychiatrist, who analyzed my well being, and deemed me as a good candidate for surgery. They said that I had a positive outlook on things, and I would have no problem.

March 28, 2003
I’m sorry I haven’t written in so long…things have been hectic. I’ll try to write more now, especially since I want to keep track of things from now throughout recovery. I’m getting ahead of myself here. When I went back to Shriner’s, I had my answer – I decided I wanted the surgery. The date is June 9th, 2003, a date that will be etched into my memory forever. I have 73 days. Some days, I wonder if I can wait that long, because the pain gets to be so bad. But other days I don’t want it to come because I am too scared. If the pain is really bad, Dr. Gupta has given me a prescription for Vicodin. But I don’t like taking it because of the side effects. It makes me easily confused, tired, ditzy, clumsy, nauseous, gives me blurred vision, and I can’t remember what has happened. I essentially walk around looking like a zombie. There’s an entire weekend that I don’t remember. It is because of things like these why I know I want and need this surgery. This is not the way to live…I am 15 years old, and I shouldn’t have to worry about these types of things. I also shouldn’t have to live with this pain, or the inability to do things that I like to do. I went online, and found a bunch of online support groups and scoli forums. Through these I’ve met some really cool people, and I know that they will help make my experience easier. I only hope I will be able to repay them some how.

The next few weeks, even months, were very hard on me. Some days, I would be in so much pain that I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I hated sitting on the sidelines, watching everyone else play and have fun, while I was unable to participate in the fun. I hated not even being able to run. My curve was in such an awful position, that my doctor told me I had to be very careful in what I did. He did not want my disc to rupture, so no sports for me. Although if he hadn’t told me, I still wouldn’t have participated, as my curve sometimes pressed against my lungs, and I would have a hard time breathing. I now took Vicodin on a regular basis, and I thank God for being with my friends and family, as I knew the side effects sometimes made me unbearable to be around. I still wonder how they put up with me day after day!

May 22, 2003
Wow, talk about a lot happening! Where do I start…at the beginning I guess. At my first pre-op appointment (at this time, my surgery was scheduled for June9th) I had an EKG, PFTs, X-rays, plus I talked to a lot of different people. Three days before my second pre-op in May, Jeannine, my nurse, called saying that my surgery was rescheduled for July 10th, because another girl was becoming paralyzed. I was, obviously, upset. Then at the appointment, they said she might be having her surgery somewhere else, in which case I would get my original date. Also at that appointment, I had more X-rays, pictures taken of me bending and twisting, from different angles, more blood work, and talking to even more people about prepping myself for this experience. But anyway, Dr. Gupta said the girl’s family should have their answer by the following Monday. So we go home and wait till then. Jeannine calls, and says that they have put off their appointment a week, so I need to wait longer to find out my surgery date. SO this goes on for awhile, until today, Jeannine calls saying I didn’t get June 9th, but instead I got June 2nd. I am so happy! So I have nine days. I still can’t believe it! It’s like I’m in shock! I mean, one minute I know nothing, I’m frustrated, I’m anxious. Then the next, I have under 2 weeks to prepare, I’m ecstatic, I don’t know what to feel. God really does work in miracles. Everyone was right – I just needed to trust Him, and remember He’s in control.

The next few weeks are very hard for me to remember, but luckily I wrote everything down in my journal. I finished up the school year, although it was very tough. But the entire time my friends and family were there backing me up.

May 26, 2003
One week until surgery. One week from this moment, I’ll probably be asleep in ICU. I’m getting nervous. I mean, this isn’t TV, it isn’t a story or a dream. This is real life…I think the only thing that helps me not be so scared is knowing I have God behind me. With God, all things are possible. Nahum 1:7 says “The Lord is good, a refuge in the time of trouble. He cares for those who trust Him.”…Well I’m getting tired now, although I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much. My back is hurting me, and no matter how I lay, my back throbs and feels stiff…Boy I can’t wait for this all to be over. But I wouldn’t trade these past three years with scoli for anything. I think it has helped me to mature, and become who I am. It has helped teach me responsibility, and in just this past week, has taught me to fully trust God, and He will take care of me.

I had finally prepared myself for what lay in front of me, and I was ready for this. I had talked about my surgery with a lot of people…friends, family, even strangers. Although I was terrified at what might happen, I had finally found peace in God, that I would make it through all of this. I was ready. But then, what happened next was something no patient should ever have to go through, especially when in as much pain as I was.

June 2, 2003
Well here I am, at home, no surgery. Six days before, so six days ago, Jeannine called, and said Dr. Gupta double booked himself for today. And of course I was the one to get bumped…I was crushed, angry, relieved, frustrated. I found out Tuesday morning before school. It was kind of hard to concentrate on my finals…At lunch I ripped all the old papers in my binder into little tiny pieces…that helped me feel a little better. Anyway, when Jeannine had talked to my mom, she told her there was still a possibility that I could still get in on the ninth of June She said she’d call back as soon as she knew anything. So we waited. And waited. Then finally today, almost a week later, she calls. I was home by myself, and I answer the phone. It’s Jeannine. I think to myself “This is it” and automatically sit down to brace myself for the good or bad. Then she says it. “I have good news. You got the ninth.” I was so happy I started crying…This time, it’s for real. Here it goes. The beginning of a new chapter in my life.

June 7, 2003
Yesterday was so awesome! Chrissy, Dana and I went to lunch at Logan’s, and they didn’t let me pay! They said it was for my birthday. Then we went to the mall. When we got there, Chrissy told Dana her Orange Julius application was due today, and Dana asked if we minded walking to her house to pick it up. I didn’t care. So we get there, and they had planned a surprise b.day/good luck party for me! It was so awesome. Even my mom was in on it. She had brought my bathing suit by earlier that morning. It was so much fun. Today Mel and I are bike riding in the park. Then tomorrow we leave. Check in at 1:00.

Before we left town, we stopped by church, because Pastor wanted to pray over me. I went up to the front of the building, and the whole congregation got up and put their hands on me. Then the Deacons prayed that God would protect me. I said good bye to everyone, and everyone hugged me as I was leaving.

When we arrived at the hospital, I checked in at the main lobby, then a security guard escorted me up to 3rd floor South, where I would stay for the night. After I was settled, I met Craig and Garrett, who are both quadriplegic patients here at Shriner’s. They were really great to talk to, and they helped to take my mind off of my upcoming surgery. After my parents left that night, I lay in bed thinking about what would happen. Everything had seemed to fly by in a blur, and my mind was still spinning. Finally, I fell asleep, listening to the sounds of the hospital.

[The following journal entries were written by my mom, as I was too sick to write. I had asked her to keep track of everything that happened.]

June 9, 2003
Mom and Dad arrived at Shriner’s at 6:29 am and the nurse gave Corey Valium at 6:30 am.

The 24 hour spinal morphine administered pre-surgery wore off around dawn and the morphine pain button is being used more frequently.

June 10, 2003
Bathing (“spit bath”) and sitting up in the cardio chair were accomplished this morning. The oxygen tube was turned back on because her lungs were not making enough. The Doctor noted that the right lung wanted to collapse. Small coughs, using the inhalation measurer and changing laying positions are keeping the fluid from accumulating in her lungs. <>I>

I was released from the hospital Tuesday, June 17th, and was happy to go home. I took daily walks, and although they were short, I could feel myself gaining back my strength.

I recently had my one-year check up with my spine doctor, and he was very pleased to tell me that the eight vertebrae fused together were completely solid and had healed beautifully. Although I had a long haul, and I developed SMA Syndrome three days after being released from the hospital, for which I spent a total of two months in the hospital, I am happy to say that God has pulled me through, and I am finally back to normal.

Many times, people have asked me, “If you could go back in time and change the past, would you still have the surgery? Would you still go through all of that, even though you knew you would spend two months in the hospital?” My answer, of course, I would still do it. God gives each one of us difficulties in life, some bugger than others. This was my mountain to climb, and I made it through with the support of my friends and family, but most importantly God. He gave me those hard times for a reason, and although I may never know why, I trust in Him.

You can find Corey on the SpineKIDS Message Boards.

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