Something that has had a huge effect on my life has been my struggle with scoliosis.

I went to get a physical in seventh grade ( I had just turned thirteen) and that's when I found out that I had it. For a year, we kept going to an orthopedic surgeon and getting it checked to make sure my curves didn’t progress, which they didn’t for a long time.

Then in March of eighth grade my lower curve went from 27 degrees to 45! It was a huge shock, my doctor told me surgery was a huge possibility. He gave me another chance and said we would wait until July 11th and see if my curves got any worse, and if so I would need surgery.

Those four months were so difficult, I grew up so much faster then my friends did, I went through a lot of terrible, terrible experiences. Its not easy for an eighth grader to realize that death as a possibility. I turned into an extremely depressed and quiet person -- surgery was all I could think about. I started seeing a massage therapist, that was one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through. Every time I left his office I would cry just a little, but without my mom seeing. That was another thing that ended up happening, I kept to myself a lot and didn’t share my feelings with my friends very often. I withdrew from a lot, dealing with the pain by myself.

July 11th came sooner then hoped and I found out that I did need surgery. My surgery ended up being November 11th of this year, I was out of school for about a month.

Now that my surgery is behind me I feel I can grow as a person and turn into whoever I am going to be. I feel so much more confident, strong, and independent. I’m finally beginning to like myself which I haven’t felt since surgery came into my life.

I know more then anyone that surgery is a scary thing, an extrememly scary thing. I remember before my surgery I had two or three panic attacks, now those are scary! I couldn't breathe and I broke out into hives, I thought I was dying or something. My dad says that, when your an adult, panic attacks can lead to a heart attack, (thanks dad! lol), but seriously I know what its like.

If you are going through this and need someone to talk to feel free to look out for me on the SpineKIDS.com message boards.

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