My name is Emily.
I am 15 years old in 9th grade.
I have a 58L curve.
I am currently scheduled for surgery.

I found out I had scoliosis while doing a bending test in 7th grade. The school nurse told me to bend over and touch my toes. The next week I got a pink slip in the mail saying simply "Your child.. Emily ....... seems to have scoliosis. Please consult a doctor."

Nobody in my family thought much of it and we waited about 6 months to actually schedule the appointment. The doctor told me I did indeed have scoliosis so I got an x-ray taken. My curve was 34 degrees so they recommended me to see an orthopedic surgeon. My grandfather had been a part of the Shriner group so we were familiar with them. Conveniently there was a Shriners hospital in Mass. At this point in time, my scoliosis didn't hurt, you couldn't see it and it basically wasn't a part of my life. We put off going to the hospital for about 6 months.

When I finally had an appointment I went. It was a brand new experience for me being in the hospital. There were people getting fitted for leg braces, people in huge casts and people who were in wheel chairs. It scared me. I got a few x-rays taken and went into the waiting room. I met Dr. Mack. He told me I had a 42 degree curve and I was borderline for needing the surgery. All this information in about half hour. Suddenly, scoliosis was in my life without me wanting it there. However, I wasn't very upset about it yet.

We went home and delivered the news to friends and family. I was set for another appointment in about 2 months. I went back and my curve was 46. I got fitted for a Boston brace and was told I would pick it up in about a month. I also had an MRI and it was awful. I have a very difficult time sitting still and in this enclosed tube I was in for about an hour, it was horrible torture. But at the same time, this was when everything came into reality. I had scoliosis, I was going to be wearing this ugly, painful thing called a brace and I was in danger of having a huge surgery. The whole car ride home I cried.

Eventually I began to except scoliosis as I became the "non-compliant" wearer of the brace, went to the all night Providence brace and tried hard this time to wear it. My curve was now 48 degrees and I wore the Providence brace. I tried and I tried but I just couldn't deal with the pain the brace caused me. It came to a point where I took it off in the middle of the night even without me knowing I was. I was angry and disappointed to find it at the end of my bed every morning. I truly wanted to wear it. My mom came to the conclusion trying it every night and failing wasn't helping my increasing curve so I turned in the Providence brace and got more x-rays done. Even though I hadn't been wearing my braces, my curve has stayed at 48 degrees for a period of time long enough to make my doctor thinks it stopped curving.

I was given an appointment in one whole year from then to see if my curve, by it's self actually stopped curving. Everyone was happy and relieved because it looked like I was done with this horrible health problem. At this time, I just had back pain and a little bit of cosmetic problems. It was all something I learned to deal with and if indeed my curve stopped then I wouldn't mind living life like this. In fact, I came to a point of mind that I basically didn't even consider surgery. The thought was so intangible in my mind that I just completely ignored it all together.

One year from then I went for another check up at the hospital. It was then after my x-rays, we saw my curve had not stopped. It went from 48 to 58 degrees in just a year. This is when my doctor simply said, "I'm sorry but we are going to have to operate." he told me I had a discussion in this and that my input was wanted but in the long run I needed the surgery. He kept saying, the sooner the better. Suddenly surgery was in my life to. Just like that.

My parents decided they wanted to take control and decide the date and the type. They also took input but told me they ultimately had the final discussion. It wasn't fair! This is my back. But I let them. I confronted my friends and everyone was devastated. They help me greatly through my struggles of spine surgery. Needles being one of my greatest fears didn't help the situation either. At this point we are just waiting for the surgery to come into play. My parents are arranging the date and I am just dealing with the harsh back pain and the cosmetic deformities it's left me with. Some days I just can't wait until it's all over. I'm actually really, really excited some days. Others, I'm so upset I can't stop crying. But overall, I just want all of this to end and I think this whole process, yet painful and terrifying, has taught me to be much stronger then I would have ever been.

My parents decided they wanted a 2nd opinion and I went to a new hospital in New York City with Dr. Boacie. He basically changed every thing I ever knew was true by telling us this completely new idea of doing my surgery. This was a shock to my family but we were eager to listen. Once he explained he wanted to do an anterior surgery to reduce the size of the rod. My other doctor, Dr. Masso and Dr. Mack, back at the Shriners Hospital wanted to fuse from my upper back to my lower back. Here, Dr. Boacie simply wanted to fuse a small section of my back. It was truly a miracle! My parents both started crying because this new way, Dr. Boacie explained, gives me more then twice as much flexibility as I would have been left with doing the other surgery. Also, he said that going in from my side (anterior), they wouldn't have to cut through my back muscles and cause me more back pain in the long run. We were relieved and so excited. At this point, I'm at 66 degrees and I have an official SURGERY DATE at the Special Surgery Hospital in NYC. It's September 20th. I'll be awaiting the date.

I await my surgery and until then I shall live every day, until the day of my surgery, like it was my last. I will do things I won't be able to do post surgery or things I will have to wait a long time for. Basically...I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL IT'S ALL OVER!

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