The next year, in sixth grade, I really didn’t think about it at all. My mother always told me, "Don’t slouch, it’ll just make it worse", but I couldn’t help it.

During the summer of 2002, I went to my pediatrician, Dr. Bekeny. He referred me to another doctor. I went to see Dr. DeLucia. He took some x-rays. The worst I thought could happen was getting a brace! I mean how embarrassing! Going to the Middle School with baggy clothes everyday to hide the bulkiness of the stupid brace would be so bothersome! After the x-rays were through, he told me that I would need spine surgery. That was a TOTAL shock! My mother kind of braced herself and said "Excuse me?" He told us that I had a double-curve and it was serious. One of my curves was 52 degrees. The other was 64 degrees. He said that I would need it as soon as possible and I couldn’t put it off for a long time. He also said that he would do it for his daughter if she had scoliosis. He referred us to Dr. Renshaw, a scoliosis surgeon. As soon as I got to the waiting room when we were about to leave I just started bawling my eyes out.

About a week or two later, we went to Dr. Renshaw. He looked like he was maybe in his late forties. He was about 5’8" and he was really nice. He is probably the best doctor I’ve ever been to. He asked me questions, took notes, took x-rays, and asked my Mom questions. Then he scheduled my surgery for Wednesday, December 4, 2002 at Yale New Haven Hospital.

I was scared out of my mind, but I still had about 3 to 5 months before the surgery.

I went back to Dr. Renshaw a few more times after my first visit. He discussed the possible consequences of my surgery with us. I could become paralyzed, and worst of all, I could die. But the chances of death are 3 out of 100. He says no one he has ever worked with has died. Thank goodness! A few weeks later, I visited the hospital, the physical therapist, and the place I would have my blood taken.

I had a tour of the hospital. I met an anesthesiologist and she showed me and IV and she let me touch it. It was kind of like a straw. She told me that I could be put to sleep before my surgery with a needle, or a mask. I hate needles so I chose the mask. She laughed and said, "Good choice, most of the kids chose the mask over the needle." She told me that I had to pick a flavor. You see, when they put the mask on my face, it will have a scent. So I chose a "Cocktail." Strawberry/Orange. I saw the floor I would be on. I hate hospitals! I don’t like seeing sick people. There were sick looking people being wheeled all over the place. I took a peek at the Recovery Room, the ICU and the Surgery Room. My heart started hurting and beating fast. I got scared. I didn’t want to have surgery!

The hospital room had a couch and a bed. Some rooms had two beds and a curtain so that the patients could have their privacy. Other rooms had only one bed. The nurse explained that this was because some patients had bad diseases and they couldn’t get any germs. The rooms were dull and they smelled like plastic. Next, I went to get my blood taken a few floors up.

I walked into a narrow, small room when my name was called. I sat in the small chair and the lady walked in. She was a short, chubby African-American lady. She smiled at me showing a big, shiny gold tooth! I told her how much I hated needles. She just smiled and called her friend over and told her to hold my arm so I wouldn’t escape. I got upset and annoyed and said, "Do you really think I’ll run away with a needle halfway in my arm?" The lady left the room and my Mom came in and held my hand. The lady wiped my arm with a little alcohol swab and took out the long, pointy needle. She said, "Ready? 1.. 2.. 3!" and stuck the needle into my arm. I barely felt anything and everything was going fine until she said, "Look!" and I saw my blood filling the tube. It made me feel sick to my stomach. She pulled the needle out and gave me a Neon Orange Band-Aid. She gave my little sister a neon Pink one, too, so she wouldn’t feel left-out.

Then we went up a few more floors to the Physical Therapy place for "Pre-Op." We waited about an hour and finally my name was called. The therapist was pretty. She had light brownish-blonde hair and black-rimmed glasses. Her name was Allison. Allison was very nice. I think she was pregnant, but I am not sure. She taught me how to get in and out of bed and how to climb stairs. That was quick! Finally my busy day was over.

About a week later it was December 4th. The night before my surgery, my aunt took my sister to her house so that she could have some fun while I was in the hospital. My Mom and I had a great night. She gave me a gigantic Hershey bar and she curled my hair with these funny-looking twisties. She gave me the best dinner EVER! Macaroni and Cheese with 2 hotdogs! It was simply wonderful. I woke up the next morning at about 5:30 a.m. and took a warm shower. I threw some old clothes on and bushed my hair and put it into a quick ponytail. I packed all my stuffed animals and my favorite pillow. My dad drove over and my Mom drove us all to Yale. On the way, we listened to my music station the WHOLE way there. I was so happy because my favorite song "Lose Yourself" came on. We all sang along. It was great! Then we got there. We walked in and went to the place I was supposed to go to. I sat down in a small room and the nurse named Marty gave me a wristband that said my information on it. She told me not to worry and weighed me and stuff. Then she gave me this medicine. After that, she handed me this hospital outfit and told me to change in the bathroom and pee. So I did and went back into the room. She told me it was time to go into the recovery room. She sat me on a bed with wheels. She told me to "relax." WOW! How can I can relax when I know I am going to be cut into in a matter of minutes? She gave me this gross, thick medicine and a purple Popsicle to suck on afterward. She said it is the best flavor to take away the gross taste in my mouth. The stupid medicine made me glassy-eyed and calm. I told her that I didn’t feel anything and she just laughed and so did my parents. They told me that my eyes were looking glassy. Then my parents kissed me and hugged me really hard and they came a rolled me away. My Mom and Dad called after me "I love you, honey. Don’t worry about anything." Just as I turned the corner I looked back at my Mom and saw the fear in her eyes. I started to cry and so did she. They took me into the surgery room and I started bawling my eyes out. Some lady threw a blue towel over my eyes and said "Stop crying" and then some yellow, dirty-looking mask was put over my face. I took a quick smell and it was so gross! It smelled like strawberries and vomit mixed together. I don’t remember anything after that.

I woke up in the recovery room calling my Mom. I remember, right before my Mom came in, when I was still groggy, some lady came over and put my catheter in so that I could pee. It hurt so bad! I yelled at her and she told me to "Shush". My Mom and my dad came in with my Uncle Don! I love my Uncle Don so much! He was there for me 100%. He is the best! Nurses just wouldn’t leave me alone! Every five minutes, a new one would come in and take my temperature, check my IV machine, and take blood. It was really annoying. I remember asking my dad for the remote, and flicking the channels. I saw a commercial for chicken. I almost threw up! Then I asked my Mom what day it was and if I could go to the mall. I was on morphine, what can I say?! Then I went to the ICU.

My Mom told me later that she couldn’t even look at me when she walked in because I looked puffy, like someone had punched me a million times. My doctor, Dr. Renshaw, came in and smiled. He told me my hair looked nice. Yeah, right!

I don’t remember much after that in the Recovery Room, but I recall the nurses coming in and saying that I had high potassium. I was on morphine, still, so I asked, "Did I have too many oranges?" Some of the nurses were insensitive. Like one day, my Mom was on the phone and I couldn’t breathe and I was calling her name over and over again. She finally answered me and called the nurse. I kept calling her over and over and over and no one came. Finally she came in, and said she was with someone else and that she would be back in in a few minutes. I yelled at her that I couldn’t breathe. Then she came over a few minutes later and I was shouting for my Mom to get off the phone and she scolded me not to talk to my mother that way. I don’t care what that dumb nurse thought. I was in pain and she should’ve been doing her job and keeping her mouth shut!

From the ICU, about 2 days later, I got my hospital room. The nurses lifted me up off of the ICU bed and it hurt so bad! Then they rolled me to the elevator. The elevator made me feel sick, too. Finally I got to my room. A little girl was in there, but she left. She had some sort of stomach, throw up problem. So I got the couch side. I just laid there and slept. A day later a 16 year old girl came in. She had an appendix problem. My Mom knew her from the school she taught at a few years ago. Two or three days later, she went home and a new girl came in. Her name was Iraida. She had a spleen operation. Her spleen was way too big. She threw up a lot. We became good friends. My physical therapist came a few times and helped me walk down the hall, up and down stairs, and taught me how to sit in a chair. One day I came out from the bathroom walking and I picked my walker up in the air and walk with it almost over my head. My nurse scolded me. The catheter was a pain because I had to drag it around with me all the time, same with the IV. One of the nurses, Patti, helped me shower one day. I loved that nurse! Then, a nurse named Sarah took out my catheter. For about two days after that, whenever I urinated, it would have blood. Sarah smelled so good! She used a Pear Lotion from Victoria’s Secret and Escape, a Calvin Klein Perfume. She was very nice to me- even if I was being crabby.

Finally they let me drink! My stomach was so empty.

A few times, my doctors came in and changed my dressing. It hurt. I had tape and cotton on my back to soak up the blood coming from my incision and they would tear off the tape and put some new, clean tape on. Quite a few times, I bled through the cotton onto my pajamas. And another time, one of the doctors came in and asked, "Have you blown any air out of your bottom lately?" I was like, "What?! Do you mean fart?" It was kind of funny.

Iraida asked me if I would go to the Activity Room with her one day, so I did and we painted pictures. It was so much fun!

They let me eat food for the first time on my 5th day. My best friend, Amanda had visited and her mom brought me homemade cookies. The first thing I wanted to eat were those cookies! Yum! They were great.

My mom took me down to the gift shop and bought me some great little gifts. Then we sat in the middle of the cafeteria near the water fountain. It felt so great. The mist of the water was splashing onto my face. I felt so weak, but it was a step closer to home.

The doctors forced me to take all kinds of gross medicine. I refused to swallow the pills, so they gave me thick, goopy liquid! Ewe! They made me take stool softeners so that I could have bowel movements. On the 7th day, they gave me so much stool softeners that I had diarrhea. It was BAD! My doctor told me that I could go home the next day.

So my mom packed our stuff and I slept and slept and slept. I woke up in the morning and got ready. The nurse came in and my mom filled out paperwork. They let me choose a present from the Toy Closet. I chose a pack with a frame and lip gloss in it. I said ‘bye to all the nurses and we left!

We drove home. When we got home, I ate cereal and rested. I had a homebound total named Mrs. Wright. I don’t know what I would do without her.

About 2 weeks later, I got a terrible virus. I couldn’t stop throwing up for 5 days straight. It was bad. We found out that it was my body’s way of getting rid of the pills. Now I am doing fine.

I can’t thank Dr. Renshaw enough for all of his help. He deserves to be a king. He pretty much saved my life. I will never forget him. The doctor that helped me, the one with a smile always on his face.

My scar is the full length of my spine, but my back doesn’t hurt too much. I am thinner than I was before, but no matter what anyone says, I know that most people couldn’t go through what I’ve been through these past few months.

Now I am back at school. It has been 6 months since my surgery and I am feeling wonderful. My scar hasn’t faded all the way, but it isn’t as dark as before. I heard that if you don’t let your scar get sun, it will get lighter more quickly. So, unfortunately I have to wear a one-piece bathing suit that covers the spine. They have some Speedo bathing suits like that. Some ignorant girls make fun of me. One girl told me that I have back problems and that’s why all of her friends hate me. Another girl made up a screen name "Morganhasbackprobs". I have learned to ignore and continue living my life, because I have my true supporters behind me 100%.

Thank you to my parents, to God, my family, my homebound teacher, my doctors, my nurses, Yale Hospital, and all my friends. You have helped me through everything.

Also, if you or a loved one is going through what I went through, or something similar to what I went through, please feel free to contact me on the SpineKIDS.com message boards at username morganlouise. From there, I can guide you through everything and maybe be of some help.

Thank you very much for reading my story.

Good-bye Scoliosis!

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